i want it to be private!!!!!

i want to start writing again...coz i find it as a way for me to get away from my loneliness...the problem is..i don't want anybody to read it except for me...i do mean NOBODY..no offense to my besties who kindly enough to spare their time reading my blog..it just...i want it to just be between me and the words...

drop dead frustrated!!! woo~!

why??!! why??! and another why??!!!
super junior is coming to malaysia for their 2nd asia tour concert but im stuck here with final exams!!!!!!!!!!!!! knape la x dtg bln 4 ke...bln 5 ke...by that time Insya-Allah saye sudah berada di msia...sedihnye....T______________T blank gle otak ble farah bgtau... kitorang menjerit sekuat2nye...biar 1 mulana dengar... sedih...sedih... saye tau saye patut focus terhadap exam...tapi.... nak jumpe suju jugak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sob..sob... can you imagine betapa sakitnye hati@liver kami.. the concert in on 20th of March...kitorang abis exam 22nd!!!!!!! arrghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!TENSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me..heartbroken~! <3 SUJU!!!!!!!!!

something finish and something just started~!

Salam…. Happy new year to all…. welcome 2010!!!!!! Probably they will be a lot of people who oredy listed their aims for the new year.. well..that is what I do every new year..but you know what? I didn’t do it this time around…hehe im so busy sleeping my days in and out.. didn’t even bother to think about it also.. the other reason is that usually I didn’t reached most of it..haha so, I guess…for this year, im just going to go with the flow…

every new year is special for my family and I because it is my mom’s bday…. This lovely lady of the house is 44 this year…mude lg mak saye..hehe love you so much mak!!!!muah2!!

okies...exam dah abis...what a relieve..though im not sure how well i did.. lantak la.. insya-Allah ok kot..think positive..haha what to do during the holidays??! im getting sick if i ever going to have to went through a severely boring holidays like the last one...woo~! im just an inch from become depressive..haha thank god i didn't.. slh sndiri sbnarnye.. bleh je nak study ke ape..tp bese la..hehe
layan je la...berhibernasi...hehe

BLOSSOM~!

My diary has gone..what a bummer.. im heartbroken like seriously… it has all my memories from the first day im here.. is not that I don’t remember what I wrote in it.. felt sad bcoz now I couldn’t read thru it whenever I felt like one..huhu so… there is nothing I could do other than to start over… so here it goes… today I felt happy… blessed… dizzy?( this occurred after all the fun things happen) I actually didn’t realized that im surrounded with good people… the ones that I already knew for years or even the ones that I just met… what a shame on me for having to notice it know.. but im proud of myself to finally realized it before it’s too late… the people might come and go…. They might forget you (wish I hope not)... all I need to bare in mind that they are there in your life leaving what so called memories which couldn’t be erased unless you got dementia..haha joking~! (an apple a day keeps dementia away..try!!) They taught you something… makes you laugh… be there when you need them.. makes you sad… (this could be for both good and bad reasons..=p) even if you meet them just for a split second…(here me exaggerating..haha) so people… I might not say it directly to you… but THANK YOU..


P/s: not sure whether the title suitable or not for this post.. it just popped out..haha

caught up in the blizzard of 'boring'ness

phm x tajuk itu??? phm2 je la kan.. i suppose to write this starting from last week...coz it was when it all started..(pergh...bunyi cm severe~!)

every TUESDAY we got the whole day for lectures..continuously from 7am until 3.30pm (it never been full pon actually...we only end up waiting for hours for the lecturers to come)..ade la break kt tgh2 tue utk mkn n solat of coz.. okies..our dearest Dr.D decided to teach PHOP( things abt public health..yada..yada..yada..buerkk!) for 2 hours str8 when it should be for only 1 hour..then Dr.H in for another 1 hour for CRP..as a conclusion... 1st week is 2 hours for PHOP..the next week, 2 hours for CRP..it sucks ok!! this is wht i do to avoid the boringness in both of these lectures...

PHOP- ok..Doc dah smpai..cr mp3 dlm bag...sumbat earphone cpt2...sorok bwh tudung...hehe pasang lagu kuat2...bukak notebook..salin tajuk..tarikh....im starting a new job people!! cartoonist on the go!!!! hehe tgk mulut doc gerak2...kelakar...budget khusyuk dgr die bercerita...haha ampun doc...at the end of the lecture, one page of my book filled with lots and pots of sketches...comic strip.. and many more...wink*

CRP- same habit also...but if it the lecture was done in the computer lab...first thing...internet...hehe tp kdg2 doc saje dengki..tutup connection..woo~! xpe...g kt start menu...GAMES...yeay!!! tibe2.. "miss,do you want to study or play games?" Dr.A tegur dr blakang..terkezut makcik...mule la tersipu2...kuang3...okeh..baek bos..saye nak concentrate skarang...picit2 nombor..masuk2 data..enter2... tkn F10 kalu dah siap..ok..relative risk die nie...significant value die nie...%%%%..hapak saye x phm...last2...me n huda kecik trying to figure out cmne nak maen minesweeper..hahahaha ampun doc...

end of story...saye bahagie..ahaks~!

day dreaming ~PART 1~

terase nak meraban and wat bende x berfaedah..haha nak bace,bace.. kalu xnak berambus...kuang3 kasar tol makcik sorang nie...huhu tatabahasa or grammar tdk dikire... mane nak sedar, kn tgh dreaming...haha

“Mak,akak gerak dulu tau. Kalau Akanishi call mak cakap ngan die akak jumpe die mlm nanti. X pyh dtg klinik, nanti huru-hara jadinye” dgn sepantas kilat aku grab kot and heels trus msuk kete. FYI, aku dah lmbt utk jumpe ngan interior designer utk ruangan baru di Aroura, klinik khas utk wanita yang telah aku dirikan dgn geng kamceng aku kt medical school dulu. “Ye la…tahu la mak nak goreng ape ngan die nanti” jawab mak sambil geleng kepale tengok aku yang tengah kelam-kabut cari kunci kete dlm handbag.

Akhirnye sampai pun..betulkan tudung sket,touch up make up..finally, I’m so ready for my day!!! Baru je melangkah 2,3 tapak, phone berbunyik plak…nsb baek x melatah dpn pakcik musa…guard yg bertugas kt parking lot klinik sejak dari awal klinik nie bukak. Akanishi, nama yg tertera kt skrin phone aku..mamat nie mmg x phm bahasa melayu btol…ape aku merepek nie..mmg la die x phm… die bleh ckp English je…aku pun angkat la call itu…”hye D,miss u so much!!! “hye Jin, just pretend I believe wht u’ve just said right now.” I giggled…die nie mmg koya btol..” where on earth are you right now? Finish with the tour yet?” aku tanye die.. “don’t say that D. I really,really,really miss you. We haven’t talk to each other for ages.’ “yeah right. And who’s to blame for that? I’m not traveling all over the world every 365 days of my life..” ”you’ are still with your short temper..hahaha the concert has ended and it was a blast!! ”. “ Well, kongrats to you on the success of the concert.” “Thanx D.Alright then… sorry ok? Can we meet up later? I’m here.. I’ve got holiday for a month.” “ok. We can meet up at the café. bye for now, I have a busy day ahead” “D wait..!” aku terus stopkan call tue.. tue la susahnye ade bestfren artis…pop idol plak tue…

Aku still ingat the first time aku jumpe ngan akanishi. Aku ngan Faru g holiday kt jepun. Dah lame kitorang idam2kan… akhirnye… right after finish med school ade holiday before houseman start, kitorang pun cabut g jepun..penat kumpul duit tue.. kitorang mmg sekepale bab2 pop idol jepun and korea nie… lantak la bdak boys nak kate kitorang ske pondan ke ape… the fact is that all of them are so handsome and cute and gorgeous and funny and of course so talented.. singing and dance…eye candy yg sgt interesting..hehe plus, aku mmg teringin sgt nak tgk bunga sakura secara live…dlm gmbr and movie, sakura tue sgt la cantik. The second day, kitorang tgh jalan2 kt Shibuya. Tmpt nie mmg tmpt artis jepun ske shopping. Kitorang harap la sesangat dpt jumpe sorang dua artis jepun yg kitorang minat.. kat-tun ke, kinki kids ke, NEWS ke…x kisah la… bkn senang nak jumpe..huhu time tue kitorang tgh pilih2 t shirt… graphic die mmg smart gle2 ar…style harajuku girls of coz la bersepah-sepah…tp aku x minat sgt la..bukan ape…dgn imej bertudung dan suasana kt msia yg kureng seswai utk bergaya sedemikian… I certainly don’t want to be called as committing fashion crime..kt jepun nie bleh la..all the girls are petit,cute and all…aku ckp ngan Faru aku nak g fitting room.. nak try baju yg aku dah pilih td…aku dah terbayang2 dlm kpale bagaimana caranye aku nak gayekan baju tue nanti…hehehehe I never expect anything so unreal, unimaginable, quite bizarre happened to me that very minute. Aku sangkut handbag kt penyangkut, tgh nak tanggal brooch kt tudung tibe2 aku dgr kecoh2 kt luar…aku ignore je la…aku jerit name Faru..” Faru!! wht’s wrong?” “nothing dear.. juz a group of paparazzi chasing someone…artis la kot..but I didn’t see who” “ owh ok.. I called you when im done..” “okies babe” Faru jawab…all of a sudden, “hey, wht are you..” x smpt aku tanye mamat tue tutup mulut aku..”im so sorry miss..can I stay here juz for a while.until all the paparazzi are gone.” Aku angguk and bg signal kt die sruh lpskn tgn die dr mulut aku..rase nak tercekik dah nie…x leh nak bernafas.. “don’t scream ok” angguk kpale laju2..takut gak aku..

Tibe2 aku terpikir, running away from paparazzi?? Artis ke die nie??? X knal pun..mmg la aku x knal, die cover muke die mask mulut tue..with the hood on…ape daa…..die pun lepaskan tgn die…”if u want to hide here, I’ll juz get out of here then” “NO!!! they’ll see me.just stay ok.im not gonna do anything to you so, no need to be afraid..” die pegang tgn aku!!! Hampeh tol…time tue gak sedar yg heels aku tali die dah putus..mst putus time mamt nie langgar aku td…bertambah lg la hampehnye… “ who said im afraid. let go of my hand” “sorry” he said. nsb baek fitting room to besar..die duk kt one side, aku duduk at the opposite.. kitorang terdiam… aku kagum gak ngan mamt nie..bleh thn fluent English die..eventhough ade pelat2 jepun tue.. tibe2 die bersuara, “are you a tourist? “ die pandang aku pelik. Mungkin sbb the fact that aku pakai tudung.. “yes I am” “ im truly sorry for your heels. I ‘ll buy you a new one after the paparazzi has gone” time tue aku still leh dgr org cm terjerit2 panggil name die… ble aku dgr btol2..paparazi tue jerit “Akanishi-san!!Akanishi-san!!!” akanishi??? Kat-tun ke??? Mustahil2….mustahil2….mustahil2… ble aku pusing pandang ke arah mamt td, time2 tue plak die bukak hood and mask die tue…OMG!!!! I m about to faint… Faru, tolong call 991!!!! HE IS AKANISHI JIN!!!!!!!!

ape jdk pas tue??? nanti la...panjang kn..minah nie mmg xde kerje...bukak buku biochem x smpai 5 saat..tp wat bende alah ni xpe plak smpai berjam2...ish...nshtkn sket ye bdak nie..tempeleng 2-3 kali cukup la.. kalu lbey dpt flying kick,mau??!! haha laterz~

MesSy~!

dah lamenye x menaip dlm blog nie... sape la tuan punye blog nih...boring tol..huhu not much to say i guess... so why bother writing right? im not reader (except for medical books..haha) well used to but no source (wht??!) pening2...

why do I miss someone that don't even know im exist? (literally~) i said to my fren that missing someone is when that someone is dear to you..examples..missing your family and frens... so in my situation doesn't really fit the term i guess... whatever... that someone probably living his life well... .i guess i prefer to be invisible... watching him from afar is enough..coz i don't have even an inch of confidence to let him know that im here...seeing him every now and then.. soul got drifted away....wee~